Are Your Pants On Fire?

Everyone tells little lies.

Not the big dramatic ones that ruin families or end up in documentaries. We mean the tiny, everyday lies we all tell just to get through adulthood without explaining ourselves too much.

This week on Sadie and Scott, we talk about the harmless little lies people pretend are completely normal, like “I’m five minutes away,” “Sorry, just saw this,” “Let’s definitely get together soon,” and “I’ll start eating better on Monday.”

We dig into why we lie about being busy, why nobody ever actually wants to “circle back,” and why “I’m on my way” usually means someone is still looking for their shoes.

We also play Truth or Total Lie, read listener submissions about the lies people tell every day, and discuss an AITA from Reddit. Spoiler, we agreed with the poster, which almost made us feel like responsible adults.

Plus, Scott teaches Sadie some big words, because apparently this is an educational podcast now. Sort of. He also tells a really boring Costco story.

They can't all be gems, folks.

Check out our website: https://sadieandscott.buzzsprout.com

TikTok: @sadieandscottpod

Facebook: Start Talking with Sadie and Scott

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're really falling apart, aren't you? I am really falling apart. We're we're we're just getting we're just getting old. What can you do about that though? Like I was like, I should really go back to like walking.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

I well, yes, yes, you should. I mean I I I'm just so sick of of waking up every day and feeling parts of my body when I shouldn't feel them. I don't want to feel them. I want them just to work.

SPEAKER_04 0:29

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

There was a time in my life where I would get up in the morning and I didn't feel anything but just exuberance. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

That's a big word.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

How do you spell it?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

E-X. Backwards. U-B E R A-N-C-E. Exuberance.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Good job, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

You're welcome, people. Alright, so listen, let's l this is the problem. We're getting old. And we're we're not telling ourselves the truth. We're lying to ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

We are, are we?

SPEAKER_00 1:03

We wake up in the morning, and I was about to start singing the theme song The Save by the Bell.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

That's so funny. No word of lie.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

I mean When you get up in the morning in the minute.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

I know. Same thing that's in my head.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

It's all right.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Save out of the middle. So good. So good. With Jesse like.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Oh Tiffany Amber Theseon. She's like just such a cutie patootie. I want to.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Oh, I bet I bet you know. I bet I bet I know what you used to do.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Oh no, no, no. So all right. So but we're lying to ourselves, right? Because you wake up in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

I can't.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Okay, so you get out of bed.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

You get out of bed and you're I have to walk down the stairs sideways. I have to walk on the sides of my feet because I can't let my ankles collapse. So we'll start there. I walk down. I'm pro my my family makes fun of me. I I look like a hundred-year-old walking down. And I'm not even 50. It's terrible.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

You're not even a pentagenarian yet.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

No. It's really it's frustrating. It's just frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

It's like Yoda said to Luke when he said he wasn't afraid. He's like, you will be.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Oh, okay. Because we you know I've never watched you can get out. I know you've yelled at me at this before.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

I don't want to hear any fucking excuses, but one day you're gonna come over and I'm gonna at least at one point in a day, you're gonna do what you're told, first of all. Second of all, you're gonna watch one Star Wars movie. I'm gonna make you watch one Star Wars movie.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

All right.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

I don't want any excuses.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

I want to give you a I don't want it.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

I don't want any excuses. I don't want any lying.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

I'll lie.

SPEAKER_00 2:51

I don't want you to say things like I'm five minutes away.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Or sorry, I just saw your text. So this is the theme of today's episode.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Is that we're we lie. We we lie every single day.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Don't lie. Don't be little lies.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

I can't play too much of that because I wouldn't. This is what we're gonna talk about. We're gonna talk uh about the little lies that we tell ourselves and other people. Such as, as I just mentioned, like I'm just I'm five minutes away.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Aren't they just called little white lies?

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Well, yeah, but how white are they? And how clean are they? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

They could be like cream lies.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Mauve colored lies. Tell me what are the worst Tell me mauve colored lies.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

Okay, stop. Uh what what are the worst color of lies?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Like red lies or like the Oh, we you know what we're gonna do that. It's not in my script, but we are gonna colorize lies. That's a red lie. You're not allowed to you're going to you're going to hack in the handbasket for that.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Hack in the handbasket.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

You are. Are you ready to go?

SPEAKER_01 4:06

I sure am.

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Let's go. Oh, welcome to Sadie and Scott. My name is Scott. I am one of your hosts.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

And I am the other Sadie.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Hi, Sadie.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Hi, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Uh, you were five minutes away.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

But you were actually five minutes away, so you didn't lie to me then. No, I didn't. Uh, but I've I think you're I think you're just as guilty as everybody else of doing the old. I'm five minutes away. And meanwhile, you just got out of the shower.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

I was uh no. I actually don't do that. I even had to, so I had someone pick me up today from the attire shop. Exhilarating. And Is this gonna be a swell story? It is gonna be a swell story. Okay. Uh respectively, I called her on the way because my maps look like it was going, it was like 1118. I was gonna get there, and I said to come at 1110. So I called her and said, My, you know, I'm stuck in a little traffic, it's telling me I'm gonna be there at 11.18 now. You know, here's the info.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

Okay, but there's so you you're having a you know, they're they're not traumaticalized, but and they don't like I don't know, they don't ruin relationships because everybody does it. It's just that nobody ever if there were like okay, have you ever seen those memes or the memes on online where are they called me?

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Whoa.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

No, Bethany used to say memes.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Yeah, she doesn't know words and things like you.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

Uh so there you ever see the meme where somebody they'll be acting and then it'll pause and you'll kind of hear that record scratch, and then it'll be a narrator going, no, he didn't.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

Narrator.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

He didn't actually show up that day with that type of thing. That's what we all need is we need that narrator. Uh like I've done it for um Facebook posts where I'll I'll post something from years ago that Liam, oh, Liam did this, and and then I'll just write in narrator. He doesn't do that anymore. Yeah, it's funny stuff. Or, you know, the the t the the absolute pinnacle because we're in a day and age where if like 25, you know, let's say 25, 30 years ago, you it could take you two days to coordinate something with somebody.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Right? Because you gotta you gotta go home, you gotta listen to your answering machine, you gotta call them back.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

They're at the pager, doesn't have batteries.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Oh, we never had pagers. We couldn't afford that. I lived in Skybre. So the other narwhal's exactly. No, that was the other side of the border of pickering. Sure, it's kind of so anyway. You would it would take you two days because you'd wait for the call. If they were at work, you weren't getting a hold of them at work. You weren't allowed to like I remember when I got my first job, like in a restaurant, they were like, don't take calls at work. Like you had to call the host stand. Can I speak to Sadie? Sadie's working in her section right now, she'll call you back in five hours when she's done her shift.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

I know it's pretty crazy. Even going, even coordinating going to the mall with your friends.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

Yeah. So it's almost like we had to come up with lies to go back because you didn't have to lie. It if it takes you two days to return a phone call from a voice message on your answering machine. The uh sorry just saw this is the big one now.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

Yeah. I've done that.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Here we go.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

You know what it is? I feel like you just need time sometimes to process things. It's a processing thing for me at least. If someone, yeah, if someone messages me, say if they're, uh, yeah, let's get together, or are we still getting together, you know, Wednesday? We made these plans, you know, say three weeks ago in your backyard, you know, wasted by a fire. And then, you know, we're getting closer to the day, and I I'm not quite sure if I can now. There's been other stuff that's popped up. So I conveniently say, you know, sorry, just seeing this, even though you've seen it. It is so bad.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

There's my fucking dogs again.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Fuck. I can't hear them.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Well, they were barking, and I so that's why I stopped. So we're back.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Okay. Hi.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

We're back. So you are uh guilty.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

What color lie is the honestly? What colors are we establishing here? Okay, I think there's white.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Yeah, white is your most innocent.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Okay, what color is mauve actually? Because I don't know what mauve looks like. It's either mauve or mauve. Sure, what color is it?

SPEAKER_02 8:35

It's like a grayish purple.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Okay, so there's I don't want that. There's white, yellow, and red. How about that? We'll keep it simple.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Red's the worst one.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

That's a red lie to me. Yeah. Uh just it's like I'll be like, oh, what about a green lie?

SPEAKER_02 8:50

Is like is a good lie. It actually is a green lie, it's actually helped.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Okay, so I've got a list. Yep, I've got so I've got a list of stuff. Uh I'm sorry, I've got a list of lies. Okay. For example, uh, I'm busy. Sorry, I'm busy.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Even though you're not. You're just lying.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

You're just lying. Uh a lot of these on my list are you, by the way. Sorry, just saw this. That's a red lie. It's a total red lie. I hate that.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Listen, there is sometimes though, when you just see it. Like there's, for instance, you know, I'm at work, my my phone's going off. I kind of click on my phone. It's now brought up that text, which would say to the other human, I read it, but I didn't read it. I just kind of looked and put it, and then you know, day gets away and you don't look at it until the next day because you get home, you work late.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

That's yeah, that's just an age thing too. Like we forget.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Well, yeah, it's just because there's no notification there. So I'm like, oh fuck. It's not until I gotta go through my texts or go to message that person, which I think I'm doing it, you know, I'm the first one doing it, and then you're like, oh shoot, no, they messaged me a couple days ago. Oh man, I don't think that's so bad.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Well, let's say you've got somebody who's never off their phone and you send them a text message and it's off hours, it's not work hours, right? I know your your work hours are different, but let's just say normal work hours, right? Where somebody is like, oh, sorry, I just saw this. I'm like, three days later, you never take your fucking phone out of your hand. So excuse, like Liam.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

Oh, young kids. Did you get my text? I young kids, I don't understand it. I know.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

I know.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

So what I said to him was, I said, give me your phone. And I I looked into my he had turned notifications off, like screen notifications where they pop up on your screen. He had turned them off for my text messages.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

You can specify that for individual yes. Stop it.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

I was like, you bastard.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Maybe that's what oh now I gotta check Van's phone tonight.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

I would if I were you. Because with kids these days, there are there is a completely different element of lying.

SPEAKER_02 11:00

Yeah, oh yeah, they're so smart. It's so smart.

SPEAKER_00 11:03

When we were kids, you could not get away with that shit. Our parents just had this sixth sense about them. Yeah, for sure. Where they would just look at you and go, don't lie to me. Yeah, lies and you would melt and you would go, Okay, fine, I crashed the car.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Oh, look, look at these kids with like burner accounts and burner account. Like burner food. They have say two Instagram. Is it called burner?

SPEAKER_00 11:30

You can yeah, yeah, I'd call it that.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Yeah, where they have another where they post all their crazy shit, dirty shit, you know, whatever it is they're doing, they're smoking pot, they're you know, whatever it is they're doing, dancing all sexy, but then they have that other account that their parents can mom and dad can see.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yeah, yeah. Those little bastards, making little shits. And they'll say things like, Oh, I didn't I haven't used that in a long time.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Yeah, he's a good one. That's another thing.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah, right. Or somebody who said, Oh, I'm not on Facebook a lot. Yeah, you are because you comment more than anybody in the fucking world.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

And I can see you have a little green light that tells me that you're on it later.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

I know when you're on the TikTok. Yeah. I'll say to him, Did you see my them I like you can send people TikToks, right? Just like you share reels on Facebook or whatever. Liam, did you see that you know, TikTok I sent you? Oh no, it didn't arrive. Give me your phone. Like it like you fucking lion piece of poo. It's just what a narwhal. Total narrowwal.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Total narwhal.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Here's a few more.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Okay, so I need to shave my legs. Ew. Oh gosh, Sadie.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Get it together.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

And I need a pedicure.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

Get yourself together.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

I do.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

You're just falling apart. You can't you can't walk. You need a you need a pedicure.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

I need a pedicure.

SPEAKER_00 12:42

You need no you you're gonna manicure is fine.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Yeah, yeah. These are press-ons, baby. Oh I can't say this one.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

Okay, so here's one. This is not gear, this is not aimed at you. Yeah. Um, but when you ask your friends to do something, I can't afford that. Sorry, I can't afford that. They they they can afford it. You know they can.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

You like I know for a fact they can.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

If you know for a fact, you know, come you kind of know and you kind of don't know. It could just be, again, an excuse for them to not want to do it because they can't, they just say, oh, we can't afford it.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

It could, but then it also can be they know what's coming up in their future, they know what they're trying to save for. You know, you don't know all the ins and outs of people's finances.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

So for me, that's like no, and I don't claim to, but I can always I can smell a lie like a fart in a car. I can't lie.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

A little bit of fart in an oven.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Sure. I'm sticking my head right in the oven and smell it. Yeah. Um, all right. So here's a few more, because then there's some we've got some like I've got some questions for you as well.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Like, what about a good, like a lie, you know, for instance, I've had a really, really bad day. Okay. It's been horrible. Like horrible, horrible, horrible. And someone says to me, Hey, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Are you are you saying you literally had a bad day today? No, just hypothetically. Hypothetically. Big word.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

I can't stand you. Uh okay, so hypothetically, big word. I've had a super shitty day. Super shitty day. Right. One of my really great friends, I guess she's maybe thinking, oh yeah, something's a little off with Sadie. So she asks me, Hey, how you doing? I don't want to unload on her. I just say No, I yeah, no, I'm good. That's technically a lie. It is by omission.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Totally the most used lie in the entire world, I think. Yeah, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

No, everything's good. No worries.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

You just don't you don't want to unload on people all the time. So sometimes a lie is actually protecting that other person that you that is asking you.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Green lie. That's a green lie.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

That's what I mean. That's a green lie.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

That's a green lie. You just don't want to burden somebody. You can deal with it. You're gonna have a great day tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Yeah, what if they're like a queried mother with like 17 sets of twins?

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

And they're just trying to be, you know, like a good friend, an influencer with five kids. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'm not gonna unload on that. Just yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

I got another good lie. I got a good lie. I'm gonna the green lie.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Okay, shoot.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

You've used this a bajillion times.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Me?

SPEAKER_00 15:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

This green lie is I'm just gonna have one drink.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

That's I'm just gonna have one drink. I'm just gonna come over for one. That's a good that's a lie, because you know you're gonna have more than one. If you put yourself into a situation and you know you love the people that are there and whatnot, and you say, I'm just having one drink and then I have to go home. Just to go.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

It's hard, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Meanwhile, you're licking the concrete at four o'clock in the morning, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Uh singing in dispatch.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

That's a good one. I like that one. That's a that's a nice little green lie.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Here's a yellow lie, I think.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Okay. And what do we determine yellow to be?

SPEAKER_00 16:00

Yellow is just not really hurting anybody. Is it one up? And they kind of go It's one up from white. Very inconveniencing me.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

It's one up from white.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Um, so white is the smallest one. Well, we've got green. Actually, well, we kind of went white, yellow, red. We didn't really use green, but let's say green and white are pretty much innocuous. Okay. Another big word. Yellow is you can get away with it, but you probably ticked off the other person.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

It's kind of and it's kind of like a stoplight, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:33

You can that's why I said green, yellow, and red.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Right? You can get away with going through. But, you know, you might get away.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

No, they're not gonna hurt you or fault you for it.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Proceed with caution.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

Exactly. But the red lies are the ones where people are like, you know what, I don't want to be friends with this person anymore.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

We're done.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

But they're not they're not exorbitant lies. They're not like another big word.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Holy words today, Scott.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

I've got word of the do word of the day toilet paper.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

No, you don't.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Yes, you do. No, I don't. I really don't.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

I just read a lot. Uh so it's this is nothing, this is nothing over the top. Like, we're not saying, you know, oh, I was abducted by an alien. That's a stupid lie. That gets a whole other color. That's like an aubergine lie.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Aubergine.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Aubergine is a color.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Oh, what color is that?

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Like purple.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Purple, okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

Did you know that in England they don't call eggplants eggplants? They call them aubergines.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Really?

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Because they're purple.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Oh. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

The more you know, Sadie. Oh, sorry, that's the wrong button. Well, I just like uh this was with the button I wanted to push earlier. You love that one. I do. You do. I also have my dun dun dun, which is really like it's kind of that is an aubergine lie.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

You know what I mean? You know when you go to someone's house, just like side topic. You know when you go to someone's house and they have like a little kid, like say, like, you know, I'm the aunt and I go, This is kind of you at this table remind me of a say a four-year-old showing um their aunt or uncle like a Pokemon collection. So I know nothing about it. I don't put any stake into what you're telling me, but I pretend to like think it's cool, and you are like so excited to show me. This is how I feel. When when you start with your fingers, start on that little board, and then you're laughing all by yourself, and I'm just sitting here, no, I'm sitting, I'm sitting here patiently waiting for you to be done.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

There's my fucking dogs again.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

There's the dogs.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

Um who let the dogs out? No, you know what it is? It's okay. So you know when a little kid wants to demonstrate something for you, and they have to no no no. Like this is where they have to start, they start it, then they stop and go, no, wait, okay, let me do it again. Yeah. And then they try again, and then they fuck it up, and then they're like, no, wait, and then they then they do like a cartwheel and break their arm or something, and you're like, this serves you right, you stupid little kid.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

This is this is this is exactly what you do.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

All right, so here let's get into some okay. I've got another one. No worries at all. No worries at all. Have you ever said that to someone, but you didn't really mean it?

SPEAKER_02 19:09

No.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Um it's it's kind of a white line.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

But it could mean anger though, because you could be angry at the person where they're like, listen, I'm really sorry I was late. No worries at all.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

No.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Yeah, I wish we were on. I wish we had I wish we had video because I was like, I gave you the.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

I feel like it's more of all good.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

No, no, no worries. I'll remember next time. You fucking prick.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

No, no.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

Here's one that my wife finds very hard, but she says it all the time. I'll remember that.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

That gets harder as you get older.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Well, that's it. Kind of in the beginning of the conversation when we said that we were getting old and falling apart. Uh-huh. We're forgetting things too too much, where we just lie about it. Yeah, I have seen that movie.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

You know what I was thinking the other day?

SPEAKER_00 19:54

What?

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Do I repeat myself?

SPEAKER_00 19:57

Oh God, I do all the time.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Do you? But how do you know you're repeating yourself? You'd have to have someone say to you, You're you just told me that.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Okay, so first of all, have you met our family?

SPEAKER_02 20:07

I know, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Okay, so they are going to in there invariably say to us, Yeah, you told me that last Tuesday.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

Okay, so then maybe I don't.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

You don't. And I don't think so. I always say to somebody, if I've told you this before, please tell me to stop.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Okay, I'm gonna start saying that. You should. Yeah, because I I I must. I must, I must repeat myself.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Here's another one that is this isn't this is kind of a yellow lie.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Um, but nobody gets hurt in the process.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

And you're gonna say it tonight. I guarantee you are, you're gonna say, okay, so Sadie's having friends over. I don't recall getting an invitation. I didn't get the text message. Sorry, I just saw this. I'm gonna text you later tonight and go, sorry, I just saw this.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

That's only for the cool kids got wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

All right, here's what you're gonna say. And you're gonna literally giggle because you're gonna say it subconsciously. Your body is just gonna go, I have to say this sentence. It's a it's a it's a yellow lie. It doesn't hurt anybody, so it's not a red lie. It doesn't piss anybody off. It's just it's a courteous lie. You're just being courteous. So you're having some friends over. Yeah, not me.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

No.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Let's get together soon.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

You're gonna say it and you're gonna just stop and look to the side and go, damn it, Scott.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Yeah, that's that's one that everybody does.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

It is everybody does that. So a white lie is kind of like I just, you know, that no, I that wasn't that wasn't me farting.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

Uh or it's just a good way to to to It's polite, but you're still lying. I know, but it's a good way to end it.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Let's definitely get together soon.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Yeah. But that's how you that's how you end the night.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

It's a social exit strategy.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

It was a so yeah, it's perfectly. Yeah. Well said, well said. Nobody exits.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

You know what? I'm gonna do that to somebody once. I'm gonna they're gonna like. Really, we need to get together more often. That's the other one. We need to get together more often. And I'll just open my calendar and go, Well, here, just put it in. Drop it in, please. What do you want to do? Yeah. All right. So pretending to understand instructions. Did you get what I'd said? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Yeah, yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

I say yeah, yeah a lot. And it's so dismissive. I really I say that a lot.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Yeah. I have a friend who Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

And you're even when I'm like I'm actually I'm I'm listening to you, and you just told me, hey, listen, that's not how you stack those plates. Yeah. Okay. And I I won't do it again. But my response is yeah, yeah. And it sounds very like, yeah, okay, fine, shut up. Like, yeah, I have a problem with that. I noticed that I do that a lot.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Lying about seeing a movie when somebody says, Have you seen such and such a movie yet? Oh yeah. It's great. Or do you remember the movie from Wave? It's more about the memory thing, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:54

I would not do that because I'd be afraid that they would test me.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

Okay, so it's more about the movie from the 70s. Sure. Do you remember the movie XYZ? Yeah. Oh yeah. Because they're telling you a story about it. And you're like, oh yeah, yeah, I remember that one. You didn't remember it. No, you did not. No way. It's like, oh yeah, I've seen that. Or well, I saw, oh my God, remind me what it was about.

SPEAKER_04 23:19

And then they're like, that guy with the thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

He was he was in Star Wars. Yeah. Yeah. It you didn't. You probably saw one clip recently. And they they probably have no idea what what Again, I think that's being courteous.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

It's a good idea. They're telling you a story. You're trying to, you know.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Did we deem that as an aubergine lie, or was that really severe? I don't have to go back into record. So I've got um, let's let's get into a little game here, okay?

SPEAKER_01 23:49

All right.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Sitting staying with the uh truth, truth and lies. Yeah. All right. So I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna give you a statistic, or sorry, I'm gonna give you a piece of trivia, I'm or I'm gonna give you a sentence, and you're gonna have to tell me whether it's a tr whether it's a truth or whether it's a total lie.

SPEAKER_04 24:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:09

You kind of we played this a little while ago where I was like, uh I can't remember what the whole game was about, but the name of the game was Am I Lying? This is just called truth or total lie. Okay. Oh shit, hold on. The average person tells about one or two lies per day.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

Truth. Very good. I don't have oh, I do. It was right there. Oh my god, I'm actually getting better at this. People are the most honest on Mondays.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

No, that is a total lie. People are the most honest on a Friday.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Oh, because they're in a better mood.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

They are, they're looking for it. Everybody's working for the weekend. More than half of people admit that they have pretended to read a book they never actually read.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Very good. I'm not gonna do bells. Um, that is really true because people will just want to be part of the conversation. So they will literally lie. And if somebody says, Oh, do you remember the part where so and so and you're like, Yeah, didn't you have a sword?

SPEAKER_02 25:19

And they'll be like, and if you're trying to collect all the information, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

So you can bullshit your way through it.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Uh, here's one. This is more of what we've already talked about, but I'm five minutes away usually means I'm still at home.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

That's a total lie. Yeah, because you totally lied. Yeah. People are more honest in group chats than in one-on-one texts.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Uh no.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

That it's a total lie. You're right. Yeah. People are usually full of shit in group chat in group chats. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Yeah. It's just, it's, it would be the same as it's just easier to lie and get get away with shit uh via text. Not actually sitting across from somebody. See, if you people get mad at people over stupid shit. If you were right in front of them, they would never have had that reaction as opposed to you know, behind the keyboard.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Here's one that's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

You're weird.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

It's a bit relevant for today's life.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

A small number of people are responsible for the largest share of lies in the world.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Oh, same way again.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

A small number of people are responsible for the large share of lies in the world.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Very good, very truthful. We are living in a society of lies, basically, is what the article that I read. So it was kind of where I gleaned the um statistic from.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

So gleaned?

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Gleaned, yeah. Big word.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

No worries is one of the most honest phrases people you at use at work.

SPEAKER_02 26:55

No.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Very good. It's that is a lie. Yeah, it's a lie. No. People sometimes lie to avoid to hurt certain someone's feelings. Yeah. That's the truth. So it's a green lie. It's a it's an aubergine. I can't remember, was it Aubergine? Fuck, we're so old. I can't even remember what I said 25 minutes ago. You said aubergine. People sometimes lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

SPEAKER_04 27:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Yes, that's truthful. That is statistically truthful.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

The phrase, I'll be quick, is legally invalid if said before entering winners, Costco Home Censor Canadian tire. That is a total lie.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Total lie. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

There is no way that Joanna can ask me to. Well, first of all, I won't go to Costco. No. No. I think Costco is one of the most brilliant business models in the world. If I could have if I could have started Costco, I would have.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

And you're you're big. That would have worked for you.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

So she's called me another species, folks. Now she's telling me that I'm big like Costco. I'm a Costco pack. I'm the Costco pack of human beings.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Yeah, you are. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

So I don't like going into Costco because I have lost faith in humanity when it comes to walking through stores.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Yeah, that's really pretty.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

And it's worse in Costco because the carts are 10 times bigger.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

And people forget their courtesy, the courtesy of walk down the right side of the aisle. No, myrtles crossing the aisle because jeans are on sale, and she's got to buy 62 pairs for her husband.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Oh, yeah. I would hate to shop with you.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Oh, I would just because I would literally start hitting people.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

I the other thing, too, is the lineups. So uh because Joanna used to say to me, Can you like we'd want to go see a movie and we'd want to save money, which is you know smart.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

Oh, yeah, so you go get the little package.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

The Costco movie pack, right? Which was two admissions, two popcorns, two large boxes.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

32 bucks.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

It was dirt cheap. Like, I don't know how Costco got away or convinced Cineplex or famous players.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Look at their hot dogs.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Famous players, my god. Does that even exist anymore?

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Famous players.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

Remember Famous Players Theatre? Yeah. I think that's all owned by Cineplex. Cineplex. And then there's AMC. They didn't have AMC. So we would go to Landmark. No, actually, I think they had Landmark too. Anyway. I she'd say, Can you stop by Costco on your way home and get movies, movie passes? And then we'll we'll go. I'm like, no.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Oh my god, really?

SPEAKER_00 29:31

She's like, why? I said, because I am not standing in line for six fucking hours.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

No, it goes so fast. Come on. Listen.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Yes, it does. No hand.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

So no, now they scan, they scan a little scanner comes around if you're like four deep in the line. A guy comes around with an actual and starts to scan the inside. So the process.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

I don't want any premature scanning before I get to the cash register. That's a violation of my rights.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

Oh my god, you're so grumpy.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

All right, here's the thing. I go in, so I I acquiesce. Big word.

SPEAKER_02 30:01

You're on a roll today.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

So I go in. Notice he's not. First and foremost, I've got to go to the center of the store to where the merchandiser is for these little cards that you have to get. Yeah. Right? So, okay. Actually, you know what? Let me back up.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Back it up, back it in. Let me begin.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Let me back up. If you're standing in a store, and I do this at the karate store, I do this at the grocery store all the time. If you're okay, I'm gonna ask you this scenario, and you gotta tell me if you do it or not. Unless you're too busy.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

Shut up.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Or you just saw this. Sorry, folks, I was doing the bundle of quotes. All right, you're standing in line at the karate store, at the grocery store, and you've got a cart full of shit.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

And the person behind you, because the express lane's not open and self-checkouts down as always.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

They only have one roasted chicken in their hand.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Oh, they they're going before me.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Thank you. I love you.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

I'm still so I do go, I acquiesce, I go into Costco. I have to traverse past, first of all, I gotta walk past the television sets that are all cheaper than the one that I bought at fucking Best Buy. Then I gotta go into the center of the store. Then I have to navigate my way back down. You know the back aisle that takes you back towards toothpaste. How do I know the how do I know the how do I know the layout of Costco? But it goes past personal items and the candy, and that's where the car's registers are.

unknown 31:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:33

And then along, and then I had to stop and try some crackers. Some lady was sampling crackers. So you get there, and I'm holding the card. Because all they have to do is scan the QR code or the uh barcode. I give you the little ticket. Hand you the tickets, you pay your $30. I get into a line with to like two people who the first person in line literally turns around. I stood in line with it, hold held up like I was holding a placard.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

I can totally see you do that.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

Right? It wasn't like my hands were hidden. I didn't have a cart or anything like that. They turned and looked right at me, then at the person behind them who had lessened their cart and went right about cashing out their 17,000 things.

SPEAKER_04 32:19

That was rude.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

It was terrible. It's rude. So I I'm starting to get really impatient. Like, I want to take this card and just frisbee it across the frickin' store and say, I'm out of here. I'll pay full fucking price to go to the movies. Guy looks at me and he goes, Hey man, come over here.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

And I was like, Where are we going? I met a new friend at Costco.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

I was all excited. I was like, Where are we going? He said, Don't go to the cash registers to buy movie tickets.

SPEAKER_01 32:47

Where do you go?

SPEAKER_00 32:48

Come to customer service. Like there's a little itty bitty like I don't know. It's not even as big as a bar stool.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

Yeah, but you have to get through, you can't just walk through that line.

SPEAKER_00 32:58

Not that customer service. There's another little customer service, not even a like it's about as wide as a bar stool.

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Where?

SPEAKER_00 33:05

To the left. Well, I don't know. Like, I can't remember which Costco this was. It was either Peterborough or Oshra. Wow. And he said, come up to this counter. We all every store has them, right? Because I Costco is identical from stores.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

I will now be looking for this. I will take you up.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Only if you're buying one item. Oh. Only if you're buying because he actually was the guy who had the movie tickets.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

Oh. He had a he had a see, it wasn't Ajax, because in Ajax you need to walk through the line.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Well, this is I don't go into Ajax, first of all.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

This is exhilarating stuff. Okay. It is. People are just listeners are like, I am so happy I downloaded this episode. Yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

But that's the thing. Joanna's like, um, I'm just gonna go into Costco for a sec. No, you're not. She's not even lying to me, she's lying to herself. What color of lie is that when you lie to yourself?

SPEAKER_02 33:56

Oh, like an inward lie would be a ooh, magenta.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Ah, magenta.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Okay. That's a magenta lie when you really lie to yourself. I uh one I mentioned before is um I'll remember that. That's a total lie. You're not gonna remember.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

No.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Like, do you remember when somebody you'd be in a bar, right?

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

And you were like really hot when you were younger. And you're in a bar and somebody gives you their phone number.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Even though you've been dating Todd since you were six. So you're in a like if somebody gave you their phone number and they verbally gave it to you, you would remember it in about four seconds.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

Well, it depends.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

I have to constantly remind my wife what our postal code is.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

Oh, yeah?

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Oh, she doesn't know her postal code.

SPEAKER_02 34:44

No.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

No. And then we'll be sitting around. She'll be.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Do you know your social insurance stuff by heart?

SPEAKER_00 34:49

I know my driver's license number and my credit card number and my debit card number.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

I know my credit card and my social. That's I don't know. I didn't, I haven't.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

You should not not know. You should not not know your sin.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Oh, I I know my sin.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

But do you know your driver's license number?

SPEAKER_02 35:05

No.

SPEAKER_00 35:06

You should.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yeah, I don't know it.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Because if you ever get pulled over by a cop and you forgot your wallet, you can give them your driver's license number and have them look it up and just give them the info and say, listen, I know this isn't valid. Yeah. But it core, my the number I just gave you that I memorized that they're gonna think you're crazy.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

How about I just take a picture of it and put it in my notes?

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Yeah, but if somebody hacks your phone, like even iPhones, which are you know proof, right? They're bulletproof, but we've got some listener submissions.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

All right, here we go. Matt from Edmonton, Alberta. My go-to lie is sorry, I just saw this text. I saw it immediately. I just needed three business days to become emotionally available.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

Oh, that's that's kind of what I was saying before.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

You did, yeah. Yeah, you kind of mentioned that. Rachel in Kingston, Ontario said, I say let's grab coffee soon to people I never want to see again. It's not the plan, it's applied to escape, escape.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Escape.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

God damn, escape hatch.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Um I think that's a common one.

SPEAKER_00 36:08

It is, and again, it's like we should get together. You're gonna say it tonight, or they're gonna say it to you. That's gonna be the kicker. Yeah, they're gonna say it to you, and you're gonna burst out laughing.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

You know what? I I might, but we always get together. Like we do make a concerted effort to do it.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Really, because I didn't see that text. I guess I didn't see it.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Jordan from Victoria, British Columbia says, I I say all the time, I'll look into that when I have no intention of looking into it. What I really mean is this conversation is now over. Same thing when they say, Oh, you've got to watch such and such a TV show. You're like, Oh, I'll look, yeah, I'll definitely look into that. Meanwhile, you've got your you know roster of of shows that you're watching. Yeah. I really want us to be on like we should come up with the honest side of these of these lies and start using them literally with people.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Literally.

SPEAKER_01 37:02

Literally.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

Where somebody says, Oh my god, you gotta watch this show, where you just say to them, it's not in my it's not in my schedule. Yeah, no, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

I'm just not, I don't have time. Yeah, yeah. I'm busy.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Amanda from Halifax.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

My lie is I'm on my way.

unknown 37:17

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

I am not on my way. I'm looking for my pants.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

I hate being late.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

I think Amanda's mess uh has sent us comments before from she's from Halifax. You have a really large fan club in the Maritimes. Chris from London, England. I say no worries at work when there are absolutely worries. There are worries, concerns, and possibly a spreadsheet.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Of those worries and concerns.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Melissa from Oshawa, or as we like to call it, the Shwig. The Schwiggity. I told you.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

I like to bag it up.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

We're gonna get totally shut down by Spotify. No. We are. They're just gonna be like going through, going, there's no way we can have this podcast that you know gets you know from fucking bumfuck Ontario. All I say is screw you, Spotify. Um, Melissa from the Schwiggity or the Schwa. Yeah, I tell people I'll be quick before going into winners. That's never true. My family should file a missing person's report.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

Uh, doesn't your wife call it church? Because that's what I call it now.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

I think she does. Yeah, I think she does. Uh Dave from Calgary, Alberta said, My everyday lie is I'm just resting my eyes. I am fully asleep and I have exist, I have accepted my fate.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

My husband used to do that all that's at the exact sentence you would say. Exact sentence. Just resting my eyes. And no, you're sleeping. No, nope, nope, just resting my eyes. Why are you lying about sleeping?

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Actually, Joanna calls she says I lie about all fall asleep on the couch. Now I make noise when I fall asleep because you know I have a I have a like a serious health defect. You know, I have sleep apnea.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Yeah, I'm not talking about it.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Along with my misophrenia. Oh, thanks. Yeah, you are. You fucking called me a Costco pack. Nothing wrong with that. She'll she'll say wake up, and I'm I wasn't sleeping. Oh that's like the biggest lie husbands tell their wives.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

It's just really annoying. I don't know why you're lying about that. Why do you need to lie about just it's still it's it's fine.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Maybe it's because maybe it's because wives nag husbands so much that we're afraid to fall asleep because then you're gonna get all like me-me-me- with this.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 39:38

No, I'm not kidding. Tanya from Boston, Massachusetts says, uh, I say I'll remember instead of writing things down. I will not remember. I have betrayed myself before the sentence is even finished. You will not remember. She's she's very, very true. Ryan from New York, New York. My life is I don't care where we eat. I absolutely care.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_00 40:00

I just want the other person to guess correctly.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

Oh, that's a test.

SPEAKER_00 40:05

There is a great thing that I've seen on the TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Because apparently that's all I do now. If Joe knows when I start a sentence with, have you seen the TikTok?

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

She's just giggles.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

Oh, yeah?

SPEAKER_00 40:19

Because I say it 42 times a day.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Okay, yeah, you do say it a lot.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

Uh, but it's um if a husband wants to know where to take his wife, because wives constantly are saying, Oh, I I don't care where we eat. Just you, you decide. Because no, they don't want to make the decision.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

Their emotional labor is like at a hundred.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

So you do you do it. You do it. And then we won't pick the proper one anyway, because okay, we'll get Thai food. No, I don't want Thai food. Fine, Thai.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

That's Thai food. I eat Thai food today.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

Or you'll say, Okay, fine, let's go to Swich LA. No, I had Swish Last Tuesday. You'll still deny every single thing.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

Here's what men have started doing. They get into the car and I can't see your face because your boom, Mike, your your boom is like, why did you position it like that?

SPEAKER_02 41:07

Because this thing sucks.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

Wow. Do you have one?

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Like, well never mind.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

Just leave it where it is. Just leave it. No, no, just leave it because you sound fine. Just leave it. You feel fucked off.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

It is we it is messing me up too. It's with my vision. So I would prefer it like that. But every time I move it, oh.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

You know what? We'll fix it.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

We'll fix it on the next break. All right. So here's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:31

Wife, the wife gets in the car.

SPEAKER_01 41:33

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

And the husband says, Surprise, I'm taking you out for dinner.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

Can you guess where I'm taking you? Oh, you're taking me to that new Italian restaurant. You got it. That's uh how did you decide on the first guest? And he takes her to that restaurant. She decided where they were gonna go.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

And then what do you do when you can't get in because you didn't make a reservation? It's like you you make a big fuss at the door and be like, I made a reservation two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

That reminds me of Ferris Bueller trying to get in it. You're Abe Froman? I am Sausage King of Chicago. Yes, I am. I can be Ruby too, too. Uh who else is there? Nicole from Moncton, New Brunswick. Another big that's a big Sadie area. Uh oh. I don't give a fuck about Scott. I say I'm almost ready to my husband when I have not started getting ready. I'm not even emotionally near ready.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

That doesn't Who's ready first?

SPEAKER_00 42:30

You are talking about always me. Really?

SPEAKER_02 42:31

Always me. I'm always in the car. Me too. I am so I can get all the kids ready and myself before he's ready.

SPEAKER_00 42:42

What is he doing? Going through his shady acres wardrobe?

SPEAKER_02 42:45

No, he just waits to the last minute to do everything. So if you know, if he leaves if we have to be somewhere at seven, he takes a shower at 627. You know, like he just doesn't where I'm the opposite. I I like I'm always waiting to go.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

Well, you know, it's I'm just yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

We're just two different peas in the pot.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Well, but that's that's what happens. And then they marry, right? But I always say to Joanne, I look at her and go, we'll leave in an hour.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

Uh do you want to go get ready? Because I I say then I'll go and get ready. But I can get ready quite quickly. I'm a dude. Like I go shower, you know, put my clothes on and fucking sit in the car for the next 45 minutes. Granted, women have a ton more things to do.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

You know, I mean it takes her not that she needs it, but it takes her a good 30 minutes to do her makeup and her hair and stuff like that. So um yeah, like it's it's one of those things, man. Yeah. Well, thank you very much, everyone, for sending in your um your lies that you tell people or your spouse. If you can think of anything else while you're Listening, please send us a message on our socials or send us an email at Start Talking Pod at gmail.com. So I don't have um, unfortunately, I I don't have a crazy news story. I thought I'd skip it.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

What I did want to do though, and we're gonna do this again. This is gonna become a regular thing, actually.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

What?

SPEAKER_00 44:19

Um are you on Reddit at all?

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

You are?

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

You say that so you're not, you just lied to me. No, I didn't. You lied. Your pants are on fire.

SPEAKER_02 44:32

No, no, no. I read all the Reddit reviews. Like I'm a like those the reviews that I prefer to read.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

Okay, so what I asked you was, are you on Reddit? I just signed up for Reddit.

SPEAKER_02 44:45

I think I have the app, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 44:47

This was I I just downloaded the app.

SPEAKER_02 44:49

I don't have my phone on me, but I do think I have it.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

So this is this was actually Joe's idea. She because she was reading something and she she said, You should you guys should do this. So, in lieu of a crazy news story, let's let's do this. Okay. Have you heard of the section? There's two sections in Reddit that people it's called a subreddit, and it's either AITA or AIO.

SPEAKER_02 45:12

A-I-T-A or A I O.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

So A-I-T-A is am I the asshole? So people tell a story.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Right.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

And then people type in. They ask, was I the asshole or not?

SPEAKER_01 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Or AIO, which is am I overreacting?

SPEAKER_01 45:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

Okay, so there's I've just brought up Reddit, some Reddit stuff here. Um see this one. AITA for telling my sister that she is the common denominator in her failed relationships.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

Uh it's your sister?

SPEAKER_00 45:47

Okay, so she's actually even written right away. I'm using a throwaway account. What did we call that earlier? I've just called it. A burner account. Yeah, she's using a throwaway account for anonymity. Okay. This must be serious, but uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:59

I I mean, as uh as your sister? No, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Let me read it to you.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Huh? Hold on, let me read it to you.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:06

My 28-year-old sister has always struggled with dating. She takes pride in her appearance, has a good job, and has owned her own house for years. So can start dating pe so she could start dating people easily. I'm I'm gonna try to fix her grammar. Unfortunately, after a few months, the relationship always starts to collapse. In her most recent relationship, she met Tony on a dating app in late January, and they hit it off. She was immediately spending weekends away with him, and he was meeting the family, and we were being told that he is the one.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:41

We were even hearing that they were spending time going into jewelry jewelry sh shops and earmarking rings for future proposal. Around a week ago, we heard from my sister that it's over, and he initiated the breakup. She started off with saying that she was heartbroken and she thought he was different than the other guys she's dated, but clearly he was just like the rest and didn't know a good thing when he saw it. She showed us the text conversation that resulted in their breakup, and it read exactly like her past three or four breakups that she's had. After the honeymoon period, she has a tendency to 180 on some of the characteristics that she's built up at the start of the relationship. Like such as she has a ten oh, sorry, such as enjoying travel or being a foodie who loves cooking. In reality, she doesn't like going anywhere but resorts for a holiday, and she orders takeaway food more than anyone I've ever met. These aren't inherently bad qualities, but she'll start dating someone who is drawn to the idea that their new girlfriend will go camping or they'll cook rice meals together. Nice meal, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Rice meal.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

It's a meal.

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:00

Sorry, the word was nice. When after about the three-month mark, she'll suddenly act like those things are the worst idea anyone's ever had.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

Oh, that's annoying.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

She also has a tendency to expect a guy to fall in line immediately. Ooh. And if they don't, they're controlling and abusive.

SPEAKER_02 48:20

She sounds like a master manipulator.

SPEAKER_00 48:23

We'll see you next Tuesday.

SPEAKER_02 48:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

In this instant, because Tony didn't want Tony didn't want to sell some festival tickets. They'd agreed to buy a couple of months ago. She had called him a bunch of names and suggested that he go take his GP about to clear his throat. What?

SPEAKER_01 48:39

What?

SPEAKER_00 48:40

Uh and suggested that he go talk to his GP about his clear control issues. All right. Oh, she wanted him to go to his doctor to clear his control issues. Tony uh fairly called the relationship there and then and blocked her. It was then that she started saying she was going to message Tony's boss and suggest that he needs removing him from his role.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

What?

SPEAKER_00 49:03

This chick sounds like he works in a job where he interacts with children. Wow, because of his narcissism.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

That I snapped and said she was the main reason her relationships and for you. And if she was just honest with the guy she dated, she might find someone who actually shares her interests. And then they may stay together.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

You mean? Yeah. That's equally crazy.

SPEAKER_00 49:27

I please I hope as she immediately started crying and stormed out of the house. And about an hour and a half later, I had our mother on the phone saying, I have to apologize for being cruel.

SPEAKER_01 49:38

Well, there okay. Okay, here we go. Okay, one more sentence.

SPEAKER_00 49:43

I'm sure it'll come as a surprise to no one that my sister has been enabled by our parents our entire lives, and this is likely why she feels entitled to have things all her own way. I'm not above apologizing if I'm wrong, but would welcome an outside view.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Oh, God, ding, ding, ding. No apology. No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. That girl is coddled way too much. That's psychotic.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Um, so people answer with NTA, not the asshole. Tell your mom she's trying to get a guy fired that makes her unsafe for people to date, and that until she gets help, you won't be engaging in discussions with her. She really does should sound like she has like narcissistic some kind of disorder.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

Yeah, does she ever? Well, and and and the fact that she is pretty much lying from the very start, like the the manipulation there is crazy. I'm gonna pretend to be X, Y, and Z. So X, Y, and Z, or so A, B, and C are gonna like me, and then I I'm gonna literally pretend like I'm a different person. Yeah. And then as soon as I get my my hooks in you, my claws in you, there's the flip around. Yep. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 50:54

I had a buddy who lived with a person like that.

SPEAKER_02 50:56

She must give really good blowjobs.

SPEAKER_00 50:58

I don't know, but I had a buddy who lives who used to live with a woman who got him fired from a job because she was mad at him.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

Could you fucking manipulate that I gave you the world's longest and the heaviest cup, like it's hurting my shoulder?

SPEAKER_00 51:14

She got him fired from a job because she called his boss and told him that he was screwing one of his sales reps.

SPEAKER_02 51:19

What?

SPEAKER_00 51:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Hold on. Were they still together after this?

SPEAKER_00 51:23

Well, yeah, because he's an idiot. They're event they eventually broke up.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Roses. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

Yeah, though. So the answer, like your sister loves bombs, taking zero accountability, lies, manipulates, and is willing to stoop so low as to get him fired because he left her. Yeah, that's it's clear that you're not the asshole.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

Yeah, no, no, no, you're not, girl.

SPEAKER_00 51:42

What you said was here's somebody response who's responded I and I'm just reading it, so I don't know how to react just yet. But what you said was harsh, but threatening to contact his boss over a breakup cross the serious line. Someone needed to be honest with her way before.

SPEAKER_02 51:57

Is there anyone that says that that she is an asshole?

SPEAKER_00 52:01

No. NTA, NTA, NTA. Everybody agrees with her.

SPEAKER_02 52:04

Yeah. Good friend.

SPEAKER_00 52:07

Excellent.

SPEAKER_02 52:09

That would be exhausting, though. That was your sister, and then your mom does that too.

SPEAKER_00 52:13

Like, oh it's it clearly. Um the parents, oh.

SPEAKER_02 52:21

I'm not a large mummy. She thinks I'm a large.

SPEAKER_00 52:25

Parents clearly ruined this person. Oh my god. Okay, we ready for a listener review before we wrap up? Yeah. This is from podcast fan 87, and it's five stars.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

No.

SPEAKER_00 52:38

I found this podcast randomly, and now it's randomly, and now it's part of my weekly routine. Sadie and Scott are hilarious together, and the segments always feel like they could go off the rails at any second, which is exactly why I keep listening. Keep up the great work.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

Yeah, we do go off the rails quite a bit.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

Thank you, Podcast Fan 87.

SPEAKER_02 52:57

Podcast fan?

SPEAKER_00 52:58

They are very active.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

Clearly, a podcast fan when your name is Podcast Fan.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

Um, let's see. Do we have any other ones here? No. No, we don't. Okay, so a couple of questions just to wrap up. All right. I won't read them all because we'll just we'll try to get this done as quickly as possible. What is your most used lie? What's yours? I I don't have one because I never lie. I just tell people the fucking truth. Like we should get together soon. And that's not gonna happen. We won't see each other for a year and a half, but I'll be okay with that. What is your most used little lie?

SPEAKER_01 53:33

Most used lie.

SPEAKER_00 53:34

Just a little, little green, little green white lie. I would yellow lie. Don't tell a red lie.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

I would say it's like no worries, or you know, if someone even apologizes to me where they think maybe they said something a little offline. I just never uh I don't I just say, yeah, no, we're we're good. It's all good. Even though you're not. I've clocked it.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

Even though you're not. Yeah. So you don't care. I think I'm thought I'm good-ish. Why like you use a you use that lie more than I'm five minutes away, or I have to go on a hike, or I want to see my boys.

SPEAKER_02 54:07

That's the truth.

SPEAKER_00 54:10

So this is that that brings up the question for this episode part two, which is are excuses the same as lies?

SPEAKER_01 54:18

Uh no.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

They are yes, they are.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

No, they're not.

SPEAKER_00 54:23

I hey, do you want to come over and record? No, I'm going on a hike.

SPEAKER_02 54:26

Well, lie. That's not a lie. I I posted a video.

SPEAKER_00 54:30

Oh, yes, that's right, because you're so good at reels now. I am. All right, so uh which lie do people say that you have that you never believe? Uh that's a tough one because there's so many.

SPEAKER_02 54:42

That I never believe a lie. Tell the lies, tell me sweet little. I can't think of anything, can you?

SPEAKER_00 54:57

Um, to me, it's I just left. Like when so when I invite you over to my house and I tell you to be here between eight and nine o'clock, if at nine thirty you're not here and you said we just left, I'm gonna be fucking furious. Okay. So we just left. It's bullshit because I know you're still sitting in your driveway waiting for so-and-so to come into the car.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:19

Liars. Pants on fire. Uh what else do I have? What is the difference between lying and being socially polite? I think we kind of covered that.

SPEAKER_02 55:29

We did, yeah. Uh, what's the difference between the two?

SPEAKER_00 55:31

Yeah, you're just being nice, even though you're not gonna get together soon.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:35

We should do this on a regular basis. It's no, because I'm an important person.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

It's you know what it is, it's a pleasantry. It's kind of a big deal. That's what I say to be a pleasantry. It's a pleasantry. And and there's nothing wrong with that. We've done it since the start of time. Yeah, so I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00 55:50

You th this is the one I think I'm gonna get us t-shirts made.

SPEAKER_02 55:53

Oh, we have lots of t-shirts coming.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

We should, and we'll you know what we're gonna open a merch store with all of our we're gonna have a picture of a narwhal.

SPEAKER_02 56:01

Oh, you you know how I feel about those narwhals.

SPEAKER_00 56:04

Stay away from the narwhals. Watch out! Narwhals. I'm gonna have a t-shirt that just is it's the official motto of our generation, which is sorry, just saw this.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:18

That's it. I think that's gonna be it.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:22

You good?

SPEAKER_01 56:23

I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 56:24

You ready to play? Rock, paper, scissors, and fuck it all out.

SPEAKER_01 56:27

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:28

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us for this episode of Sadie and Scott. We hope that you enjoyed listening to it as much as we did bringing it to you. Don't forget to check us out on our socials, mostly Facebook and the TikTok, which Sadie still hasn't sent me her handle.

SPEAKER_02 56:43

You're gonna have to show me how to do that.

SPEAKER_00 56:45

Good grief. Or you if you want to um leave us, please leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple. It really helps the show grow. Uh, if you've got an idea for the show or you'd like to comment about a previous episode, we will read it on the air, as you can tell. Uh, you can send us an email to Sadie and Scott Pod, or sorry, start talkingpod at gmail.com. We're on Instagram. No, we're not. Yeah, we are sort of. I don't really like Instagram, but we're on the TikTok, which is Sadie and Scott Pod. And we're Facebook. I'm gonna change the name to our new name, which is just Sadie and Scott, but start talking with Scott and Sadie, or Sadie and Scott. You ready to play rock, paper, scissors, you guys to say we're over now?

SPEAKER_01 57:25

Yipper.

SPEAKER_00 57:25

All right, ready? What? Oh, I'm gonna go. What's the mic knocking everything?

SPEAKER_02 57:29

I know. One, two, three. No, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 57:32

I didn't even count for weeks.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

You look like such a like barbarian. Like, where do you think?

SPEAKER_00 57:39

Like a Costco pack sized person.

SPEAKER_02 57:45

That's exactly what you're like you're literally a caveman.

SPEAKER_01 57:48

Okay, ready? One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, shoot. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 57:58

All right, guys. Me and these dry, sexy legs are out for now. Look how dry they are. Oh, they're hairy too. Out for now. They are. Look at them. I can't.

unknown 58:11

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 58:12

Are you still recording? You're an asshole.